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Teaher: Karen Bergendorf
Age: Adult ESL
<< THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENT WAYS OF GREETING PEOPLE ON THE STREETS OR EVEN IN A HOME OR BUSINESS SETTING. I KNOW EVERY CULTURE AND COUNTRY HAS MANY WAYS. THIS IS TRUE IN AMERICA ALSO. >>
Have the students give several ways they greet people they know on the street. Have them give examples of friends, casual acquaintances, family members, business associates. Write their suggestions on the board.
1.<< I WOULD LIKE GO SHOW YOU SOME EXAMPLES FROM AMERICAN CULTURE. YOU WILL BE WATCHING SOME SHORT CLIPS OF MEN AND WOMEN GREETING IN DIFFERENT ENCOUNTERS. PLEASE MAKE NOTE OF ONE WAY MEN GREET OTHER MEN AND THE WAY MEN GREET WOMEN AS YOU WATCH THE FOLLOWING VIDEO. >>
Show the students the video with different forms of greeting shown.
Handshakes and Greetings: Page Two
2.<< AS YOU CAN SEE FROM THESE CLIPS, THE MOST COMMON AND POLITE FORM OF GREETING IN AMERICA IS SHAKING HANDS. YOU SAW MEN SHAKING HANDS WITH MEN AND WOMEN, AND WOMEN SHAKING HANDS WITH OTHER WOMEN. WHAT ARE SOME OTHER MANNERS OF GREETING THAT YOU SAW? >>
(Patting on back, lightly hitting shoulders, just nodding, hugging.)
But it is important for us to see a difference when each of these forms of greetings would be appropriate. Though these situations may seem similar to you, there are some differences to learn about when each is the best way.
Pass out cultural assimilator to students. Have students read the assimilator. Then review their answers and discuss the correct answer.
HANDSHAKES USING PICTURES
4. << THE HANDSHAKE IS USED MOST OFTEN IS CASUAL GREETINGS ON THE STREET, IN THE MARKET, AT CHURCH: (SHOW PICTURES OF THESE EXAMPLES AS YOU TELL ABOUT THEM)
a. Children do not usually shake hands at all. An adult may offer to shake a child's hand. This is a way of teaching them the custom and a way for the child to feel more grown up.
b. Older teenage boys would most likely not shake hands. If they do touch at all, they usually hit each other lightly on the arm or shoulder as if they fighting or boxing. They may lightly slap each other on the back of the shoulder.
Young teenage boys might also do a handslap if they are friends.
c. Teenage girls would most likely not shake hands. They may hug lightly if they are good friends. But most likely they just use a verbal greeting.
d. Adults almost always shake hands when they meet in any setting. Men shake hands with men. Men can also shake hands with women. The woman should extend her hand first to signal to the man it is acceptable to shake hands. Women may hug a good friend if meeting on the street, but they may also just use a verbal greeting.
e. Men and women also may shake hands again when they depart as final gesture. Handshakes and Greetings: Page Three
f. Hugging: Men don't hug each other, even if they are good friends. There may be exceptions if the men are extremely good friends and they haven't seen each other in a long period of time. Male relatives may hug, but it usually a very brief hug. Men should not hug women they don't know. That is considered in bad tasteand awkward for all parties.
Women may hug women friends they know well or are especially happy to see. Women would be more likely to hug female relatives then men would male relatives.
5. << THE HANDSHAKE IS ALWAYS USED IN BUSINESS GREETINGS: (SHOW PICTURES OF THESE EXAMPLES AS YOU TELL ABOUT THEM)
a. Men and women all shake hands as a sign of welcome, trust, and open business relationship.
b. Women also shake hands with other women in a business setting (more then they would in a causal setting).
c. It is considered polite to shake hands at the end of a business meeting or interview as the host and guest depart company. This signifies agreement of the content of the meeting or an opening for future negotiations.
d. There is NO HUGGING in a business meeting setting of men or women.
6.<< THE HANDSHAKE IS ALWAYS USED POLITICAL OR OFFICIAL MEETING: (SHOW PICTURES OF THESE EXAMPLES AS YOU TELL ABOUT THEM) >>
a. The host always offers his hand first as a sign of welcome and peace. Even if the parties are divided in political views, they will shake hands.
b. The American custom is for one hand to be used. If a second hand is used, this would be a sign of extra sincerity and hope for a good outcome of negotiations.
c. If it is a debate or political meeting the handshake can be taken as a sign of harmonious negotiations, a calling of truce. It can signal offer of peace "for the moment." It can also be a sign for hope of reconciliation.
d. When the meeting is concluded a handshake can signal agreement, or thanking the guest for coming. It can also signal a hope for a good journey.
Handshakes and Greetings: Page Four
<< ON OCTOBER 1ST THERE WAS AN HISTORICAL MEETING HELD IN WASHINGTON INCLUDING ISRAELI PRIME MINISTER BENJAMIN NETANYAHU, PALESTINIAN LEADER YASIR ARAFAT, JORDAN'S KING HUSSEIN AND US PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON. THERE WERE THERE TO TRY TO NEGOTIATE PEACE IN JERUSALEM BETWEEN THE ISRAELI PEOPLE AND PALESTINIAN PEOPLE. THE FOLLOWING ONE OF THE STORIES THAT AIRED ON THE NEWS AS THEIR MEETINGS ENDED. >>
"At a White House news conference, Prime Minister Netanyahu, Chairman Arafat and King Hussein sat silently on stage. Outside as the three visitors prepared to depart one by one, a powerful image as Netanyahu reached for Arafat's hand, shook it hard, then doubled his grip. Netanyahu had given up nothing and from his point of view the meeting was a success."
(Show video or picture if video is not available.)
<< WHAT IS THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE TWO HANDED HANDSHAKE BY THE TWO POLITICAL LEADERS? >>
1.<< IT IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW HOW TO SHAKE HANDS. >>
a.Dish rag: just hold your hand out; put no strength into it. (If men or women use this method they are perceived as weak or that they don't know how to shake hands. It would not be appropriate in business or personal setting.) b.Fingers only: keep your fingers close together and put them out just slightly. (Women might use this method more than men. It is still not the proper method of shaking hands if you want to be taken seriously or sincerely.)
c.Water pump: grab the other person's hand firmly and pump hard several times. (This method is too aggressive. If you should happen to hold the hand too firmly the person would not be happy. You should not pump the hand too hard or too long either!)
d.Proper: Extend your hand vertically until you clasp the other person's hand fully. Give 1 or 2 short firm pumps and then drop your hand. Do not keep holding the other hand. (You would use this form of shaking hands in all situations. In business or political settings you might hold the hand slightly long and use a bit more force in the shake.)
1.<< AS HOMEWORK FOR TONIGHT, I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE YOU GO TO THE MALL, A SCHOOL, OFFICE BUILDING OR STORE. SIT OR STAND FOR AT LEAST 15 MINUTES AND OBSERVE. READ THE ASSIGNMENT SHEET AND BE PREPARED TO SHARE YOU FINDINGS WITH THE CLASS.
Handshakes and Greetings: Page Five
1.Allow the students time to share the results of their observations. Discuss their findings.
2.Allow for further practice of shaking hands.
Susan, an American college student, was walking on campus with a new exchange student Ramon from Italy. He had been staying with her family for a few weeks before school got started and he had gotten to know her family quite well. She was walking him around the school to show him the classroom buildings. As they passed male and female students on campus, she would occasionally say hello to them as they passed. Ramon finally commented "You know many people at this school." Susan said she didn't really know many people which confused Ramon since she had greeted so many people. "I just like being friendly," she added.
Then Susan happened to run into a close girlfriend whom she hadn't seen in several months. They called excitedly to each other and then hugged. Susan introduced her girlfriend Larraine to Ramon, and explained that Ramon was a new student in the US. Larraine extended her hand and said, "Nice to meet you."
After a brief conversation the three parted. A short time later, Susan and Ramon ran into Susan's brother Andy who was also on campus with a group of his guy friends. Ramon and Andy knew each other quite well by now and got along very well. As soon as Ramon saw Andy he also excitedly called hello and grabbed Andy to hug him. Andy, stunned, pulled away and laughed nervously. Andy's friends laughed and teased Andy about his new "friend." Embarrassed, Andy quickly departed. Ramon obviously noticed Andy's embarrassment but also was deeply hurt by Andy's actions of rejection. He knew he had caused an embarrassment, but he didn't quite know why Andy treated him this way. He had just watched Susan and her girlfriend hug when they greeted and assumed the Italian custom of hugging a friend to be acceptable here.
1. Andy doesn't really like Ramon but has just been polite these last few weeks since Ramon is new to the US.
2.Ramon doesn't know that it not an American custom for male acquaintances to hug in public. It is the custom for men to shake hands. Since hugging is generally used only for some male relatives to greet, men might be thought to be odd or too friendly if they display such greetings in public. That is the reason Andy's friends teased him and why Andy acted embarrassed.
3.It is impolite in America to hug a male acquaintance when other male friends are present. This causes jealousy among the friends. The American male must instigate the hugging of any foreign male friend or guest.
4.It is an American custom for brothers and sisters to hug and greet each other before acknowledging other friends. Ramon should have waited for Andy and his sister to hug first and for Andy to introduce Susan to his friends.
1.This is probably not true at all. If Andy has been polite to Ramon at home, he probably does like Ramon. There is no reason to believe this would be true. Sorry, try another answer.
2.It is true that most men in America do not hug when they meet each other in passing or in business meetings. It is acceptable and appropriate for two men, in any circumstance and at any level of acquaintance, to shake hands instead. Even many male relatives do not hug in public (or in private). That is usually a sign of affection and not just of acquaintance. Some people might suspect that two men that showed such affection in public might be homosexuals, and this is probably why Andy's friends laughed and teased him. It is completely acceptable for women to hug as a greeting and it is not thought to have a sexual connotation. This is the correct answer.
3.Since it is not considered appropriate for male acquaintances or friends to hug, especially in public, this answer is not correct. American men usually don't hug a male friend, foreign or domestic!
4.American brothers and sister often hug in public. But it is not required that they greet before others can greet either one of them. This is also the wrong answer. Try again.
ETHNOGRAPHIC OBSERVATION ASSIGNMENT
Go to the mall, an office building, store or stay at your school. Sit or stand for at least 15 minutes and observe people coming and going.
1.Name the place from which you are observing. Describe the surroundings. Tell what time of day you are observing.
2.Observe the people as they are walking and talking together. But mainly watch how people greet each other as they pass or meet. Specifically note the following things: (You may note if they touch in some way (hugging, handshaking), if they wave as a greeting, or if they just talk.)
a.How do adult men greet other adult men?
b.How do adult men greet adult women?
c.How do adult men greet younger people (teenagers or children)?
d.How do adult women greet other women?
e.How do adult women greet younger people (teenagers or children)?
f.How do teenaged boys greet each other?
g.How do teenaged boys greet teenaged girls?
h.How do teenaged girls greet each other?
i.If you are observing at a school, how do teachers greet students?
j.If you are observing at a store, how do clerks greet their customers?
You may use this page to write your answers on. Spend at least 15 minutes in one place. You will report back to the class in two days.
November 26, 1996
I think the lesson went fairly well. I'm sure the standard complaint from all the students has been that 10 minutes isn't enough. It's hard to know what to chose from a lesson plan to present in that amount of time.
Strengths in the lesson:
Some of my classmates' comments were that the lesson was well designed and interesting. They liked the use of the video and felt the lesson was practical.
I also liked the idea of using the video clips. I felt it showed many different situations where the handshake is used (greetings, leavetakings, and congratulations). It also showed other ways of greeting that is done in America. I will tighten up the filming (to make shorter clips) and find a bit more variety (sports, comedies, etc.). I feel it is important that greetings be taught to students early in the language process and it is an interesting subject.
Weaknesses in the lesson:
Several comments were made regarding the length of clips in the video. I agree that the filming needs to be more concise; that's the next project after the semester is over!
I had only planned on using one class period, but that may not be enough. Since this is useful (practical) skill to know, perhaps another day would be useful for the students. It would give them more of a chance to practice the skill.
It was also suggested that the Assimilator be shortened if this is for intermediate students.
I did add an extra day to the lesson plan. I wanted to give them more chance to practice handshaking and to share the results of their observation homework.
I would also like to add a mini-drama to the lesson. I think student of most ages would enjoy that and I find them interesting and useful in evaluating the students' understanding.
I also intend to send for the tape of the newsbroadcast of the Netanyahu/Arafat peace summit. Since they mentioned them shaking hands in the newsbroadcast and it was a powerful image of them using two-handed shake, I think it would be interesting to students. (I just didn't have time to get it yet.) This activity could actually be moved to the second day after the students share their observations.
I will enjoyed preparing and writing this lesson. From past experience I know that lessons are constantly evolving so I'm sure this lesson won't look like this in a few cycles. For the time being, however, I feel satisfied with the end result.
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